this is My doing

February 1, 2011

This is my doing. (1 Kings 12:24)

I read this in my QT's today. This is my doing. God's doing. It's comforting and encouraging to know that nothing that befalls us is out of God's knowledge or foresight. That when we commit our lives to him, the situations we encounter- they are within his plans for us. That these things that may strike us with surprise or anguish, are exactly His doing and do not surprise or anguish Him, for He knows exactly what He is doing.

When QTing today, I was reminded of when the last time it was that this verse/devotional particularly spoke to me in my then-circumstances. It was exactly four years ago, middle of freshmen year, when a friendship I treasured pretty much broke apart and I had no way of knowing or explaining why it did back then. This same verse spoke to me then, giving me the assurance that yeah, God has his plans and his ways, and that in everything, it is for our blessing and not our harm. Looking back at how the situation turned out, I can see that, indeed, God's been a huge part in orchestrating many of the situations and friendships the way He did. And though at the time I may have fought hard to try to have things my way, looking back on everything, I'm glad he had it His way.

I was reading "Knowing God" by JI Packer recently. I particularly liked this passage:

Fellowship with [God], trust in his word, living by faith, standing on the promises of God, are essentially the same realities for us today as they were for Old and New Testament believers. This thought brings comfort as we enter into the perplexities of each day: amid all the changes and uncertainties of life in a nuclear age, God and his Christ remain the same - almighty to save. (pg. 81)

I really liked that passage. It reminds me that while people are unstable, always changing whether in personalities, character, words, decisions, or actions, that while people can be fickle, unfaithful, or unpredictable, God is not. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. His character will not change, his word will remain true, his promises will stand, and his purposes for us will not change. It's comforting to know that in the midst of an unpredictable world, I have something to cling onto and to grasp that will never change and that will always be reliable.

I'm learning to focus and fix my eyes on God, not on the changing situations. When Peter saw the wind, he began to sink instead of walking on water (Matthew 14:22-34). I often look at the wind and the waves surrounding me and I begin to sink, but I'm learning to fix my eyes on God, having hope in Him, not in people or situations, knowing that in but a mere few years, I will be able to look back on all things and see how indeed His hand has been guiding me along.

¹ How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

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⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13)

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Habakkuk 3)

I cannot control my circumstances, but I definitely have control over how I respond to them. The two passages above are ones that I've come back to over and over again throughout the last four years in college. Yeah, they're kind of emo, and I promise I'm not being emo, but why I love both these passages so much is that in both cases, the writers are saying how despite everything they see and are going through, despite feeling that there is no benefit or that God has forgotten them, yet they will rejoice and be joyful in God, because God has been good to them. That's so very powerful and amazing. To be able to say that God has been good, despite the current circumstances or situations that may drag one's spirit down, one must really have to have tasted God's goodness, really have faith, experience, and trust in the true nature of God, and have the will and determination to fight against the inevitably natural human emotions of despair or hopelessness. I've been learning to take initiative in being joyful in everything because God has honestly been very very good to me. I'm learning to not let my emotions of being stressed or in anguish overcome me, but to draw my strength and joy from God and choose to be happy despite what I may want to feel. To not worry, to let go, and place all things in God's hands, for that's where everything rightfully belongs.

2011 has begun in many ways that were completely not according to my plans or what I would have wanted, but I'm excited and hopeful because I know that 2011 has begun in the exact way that God wanted it to begin.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (Prov. 19:21)