the in-between
February 21, 2011
(Genesis 40)...14But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. 15For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon.” ...23The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.(Genesis 41)
I read these verses a few weeks ago during my QTs. They've constantly been on my mind over the past few weeks as I meditated and wrestled with God and myself on the issues of God's timing and God's sovereignty over all things. The above story is of Joseph, a boy sold to Egypt because of the jealousy of his brothers, and who then was placed in jail because of a false accusation. If anyone knew the feeling of betrayal or of being wronged, it was Joseph.
Two things particularly stuck out to me as I read the two chapters.
First, from the end of chapter 40: he forgot [Joseph]; second, from the beginning of chapter 41: when two full years had passed. There's just something about those two verses that speaks monuments to me. Joseph was forgotten and left in prison, but not only that, he was forgotten for two full years! In reading these chapters, it's easy to gloss over from one verse to the next. Forgotten...two years...second in command of Egypt! It's easy to focus on what happened at the end of the story when Joseph became second in command of all Egypt and life turned upside down for the better for him, and easy to forget and skim over the waiting period when all must have seemed lost and hopeless for Joseph.
But imagine being in prison and being forgotten during those two years. How hopeful Joseph must have felt when the cupbearer was put in prison and then freed. "At last! God must have sent him as my rescuer from this place!" But it was not so because the cupbearer forgot him. At this point, I'm just wondering, who in the world could forget so easily someone who had so accurately interpreted their dream ?! I don't know about others, but I think if someone were to interpret a disturbing dream for me and I were to see their interpretation come true, I would definitely not forget him. And it's not like the events took place a year after the interpretation, it was but a mere three days! While I may feel that the cupbearer had a ridiculously poor memory and feel pity for Joseph who was still stuck in prison, I am reminded that God is sovereign. He had allowed the cupbearer to forget. He had allowed for a whole two years to pass, letting Joseph stay in prison without so much as a hope or glimpse of freedom. And while I feel like if I were in Joseph's position and could be god of my/his own life, I would've made it so that the cupbearer had instantly remembered and so I/he could have had two less years of prison, I realize that what may seem to be good to humans, can actually rob us of God's greater blessings.
If Joseph had been remembered two years earlier, yeah, he could have had two less years of being in prison. But he would have missed out on God's greater blessings and purposes for his life. After two years had passed, the cupbearer remembered him at the perfect timing of when Pharaoh had a dream. Joseph was brought out at the perfect time to interpret Pharaoh's dream; Joseph was at the right place at the right time.
41So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.” 42Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph’s finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. 43He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command,c and men shouted before him, “Make wayd!” Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt.
And because Joseph was in the perfect position to interpret the dream, and wise enough to give sound and good advice, he was made second-in-command of Egypt. And because of his new position in Egypt, he had access to the trading and storing of the food, and it is because of the storing of the food that allowed the other Israelites to come and survive off of the food from Egypt, and it is because of the trading aspect that Joseph was able to be reunited with his family.
When I read the story of Joseph, I'm struck by just how amazing God is in his timing and his sovereignty. His plans are far beyond what we could ever imagine. His deeds more amazing than we could ever have seen. Yeah, Joseph was left for two more years in prison, but I bet that when Joseph looked back on his life, if he could have done it all over again, he would definitely not have asked to be taken out of prison two years early. A few points that I've been meditating on:
-God has perfect timing. To us, two years earlier would have been nice. But by God's timing, Joseph was right where he needed to be in order to be made second in command, and give the Israelites a future (otherwise they'd starve to death).
-God is sovereign. The cupbearer forgot! Joseph was wronged! Joseph was stuck in jail for two more years. YET, God allowed all this and was sovereign over it all. What may seem bad to us, was actually what fit perfectly into God's plan that his higher purposes may be carried out.
-God's plans are amazing beyond imagination and far beyond what we could ever plan or make for ourselves. Not only did Joseph benefit with status (second in command), favor of the people, a wife &family, but his own people benefited. Because of Joseph's advice to Pharaoh to store up the food, when the famine hit, the Israelites were able to go to Egypt to get food and not starve. And not only this, but God's name is glorified and magnified throughout it all. The Egyptians hear about so great a God of Joseph's, and centuries later we are here reading about how awesome and magnificent is the God we worship and how great his plans are. We see that God not only blessed Joseph in the midst of all this, but He planned out the redemption of the Israelites as well, and in the midst of that, His name is glorified and magnified. Only God has the wisdom and foreknowledge to be able to plan out things so meticulously well that once all things have been done and said, all we are left to do is to kneel before our God in awe and wonder at how He's orchestrated everything not only for our good but for His glory, and all we ever really needed to do is to trust him and be the available vessel through which he can work.
-Nothing is wasted. Those two years in prison? I'm sure God used it to grow Joseph immensely and to prepare him for what God had planned for him to be in the future: a leader of all of Egypt. It is those years Joseph had served as a slave and had been stuck in a prison that God used to mold and really grind him into the man of outstanding character that we see at the end of the story. We know Joseph at the beginning of the story: a naive young boy who was either a bit too arrogant in sharing his dreams with his family, or too foolish to have known what should or should not be said. We see Joseph at the end of the story: a man strong in his moral convictions, steadfast in his trust and faith in God, a humble leader, and a forgiver of all wrongs. It is the in-between that God used to mold Joseph into the man that has become a Bible character favorite of many.
I am, as many of us are, in the in-between of our stories. For me, reading Joseph's story gets me excited and hopeful because I know God has amazing plans for me as well, I'm just still waiting. I'm still in the in-between of the story God has intended to be for my life. I'm still in that 'two-year prison' phase where I'm waiting for God's purposes to come about. Feeling like I'm stuck because I'm not quite sure where life is headed next but feeling like I can't do much with what is given at the moment simply because this is where God has placed me and left me for the time being. Reading Joseph's story gives me hope and a determination to make the most of this 'in-between' time. To be determined to learn and grow in the ways God has willed for me, to not shirk from my responsibilities or from what may be painful and hard, but to rush head on into it, knowing that this will be but 'two-years', and one day I will look back on this all and be able to point to these years and say "God used those two years to help me be who I am today that I may better glorify Him and bless those around me."
I won't lie, it's still difficult though - being stuck in that inbetween. I'm the kind of person who loves and just needs to know what is that conclusion, what is that ending. I'm the type of person who will get frustrated at a book being too long, skip to the end, read it, and then go back to reading the rest of the book from start to finish. I do this with movies too. People ask me why I like 'spoiling' things for myself. It's not that I don't like waiting to have that good surprise at the end of a good movie or what not, it's more the fear that it won't be a good ending, and so I skip to the end of the book/movie to make sure it will be a good ending, and then I can peacefully and contently go back to the beginning and finish the movie because I know everything in the end will be alright.
And so it is with my own life as well. As much as I know that, with God, there is no such thing as a bad ending, I just want to skip a few years ahead to make sure that things WILL be alright, and then come back to where I am presently and contently live through these times with the full proof and knowledge that good times are coming. But life is not so, and it is good that it is not so. For how else would I learn to trust and rely on God with my all? When else would I be forced to struggle and wrestle with myself in trusting and fixing my sights on God despite the situations or that feeling of wanting to just scream and yell because of how unjust, bleak, or routine/boring present situations are? I'm often torn between feeling hopeful and hopeless. Hopeful because I have my sights fixed on God and I know that with God, everything is good. Hopeless because I have my sights fixed on myself and the surroundings. Obviously, I should be hopeful 100% of the time right? And so I'm still learning during this 'in-between': to trust in God, to rely on Him, to have hope and joy based solely on the fact that God is God of my life. And I know that one day, when I am done with this in between, I will be able to look back on everything and genuinely thank God for every single moment of my life because I know I'll be able to see the ways in which I've grown and matured and become prepared for what I will one day be for the greater glory and purpose of the kingdom. I will then look back on all these 'in betweens', all the 'jail' phases of life and say of them:
(chp 45:8")So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God....(chp 50:20)You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Comments
Post a Comment