leaving vs running away

February 24, 2011

Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.

7The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur.8And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

“I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

9Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” (Genesis 16)

When faced with difficulties, one is often faced with two decisions: to stay and persevere or to leave. In some cases to leave is the right decision. In others, to leave would be just one running away from difficulties. It's not easy to figure out under which circumstances one should leave, and under which one has been called to endure and persevere. Even in the Bible, there is no set pattern of which is the better option, but instead there are cases where sometimes one is the right course of action, and other times the other decision is the right course of action.

The above excerpt particularly stood out to me this time when reading it. Sarai (Abraham's wife) mistreated Hagar, and so naturally she fled. It would seem the reasonable and logical thing to do. Someone's treating us badly? Someone hurt us? Circumstances are not in our favor? It would seem logical and reasonable to want to get away from that. But God's response is surprising. He tells her to go back and to submit to the very same mistress mistreating her. Now as a disclaimer, I'm not saying that we should always submit to whoever is mistreating us. For example, in cases of abusive relationships, there are definitely other courses of action that may be more suitable. In this blog, I am just addressing the general form of difficulties, of when circumstances or situations are not in our favor and may actually be a bit uncomfortable or stressing for us.

As I reflect upon this passage and the situations I've come across in the past in my own life, I notice that I've often chosen to leave difficult situations. To give myself time away from difficult people or circumstances. Looking back on those situations, I do not regret my choices and I fully believe that during that time, I made the right decision to leave. Sometimes the decision to leave can be the most needed and best one at the moment. It offers us the time and space away from the difficulties so that we may once again re-focus and ground ourselves again in God's love, peace, and strength. It was because of such a decision to 'leave' a difficult situation years ago that allowed me the time to isolate myself with God, allowing Him to transform me from within that I could set my priorities and heart on the right matters again.

Now though, as I read this passage, and think of the upcoming difficulties that God will be allowing to enter into my life, I'm realizing that I must learn now to submit and persevere through difficulties. I must allow these difficulties to grow me in the ways God has deemed for me to grow from them. And that now, if I were to choose to 'leave', it would be but running away and avoiding uncomfortable situations.

Difficulties, mistreatment, uncomfortable situations, etc. will come about in the future for all of us. Whether it's with our future marriages, future families, in-laws, bosses, coworkers, boring job, church members that misunderstand or malign us, difficulties cannot be avoided for we are all depraved sinners with so many flaws that it inevitably carries through into our relationships with one another. Sometimes it will be a matter of leaving and moving on to the next thing God has called you to. For example, in the instance of Jacob in chapter 31, after being taken advantage of and mistreated by his uncle Laban for 20 years, Jacob finally got word from God to leave and go back to his father's place. Other times, we are called by God to submit, endure, persevere, and grow through the difficulties we are faced with, like in this instance with Hagar and Sarai.

I was reading "A Call to Spiritual Reformation" the other day and I read this quote I liked:

Similarly, … the perseverance displayed by the Thessalonians is not mere stamina, without purpose, but steadfast endurance, squarely aimed for that final glorious kingdom. Christians are not masochists: they do not want to suffer out of some forlorn but stupid belief that suffering is intrinsically good. They are prepared to suffer and to endure because they keep their eye on the goal. (pg. 45)

We persevere and suffer not for nothing, and we definitely don't endure for the sake of enduring, but we do it all for a God-given goal and it is because we fix our eyes on the goal that we can receive from God the strength to persevere and endure. All this enduring and persevering is not for nothing but for God's glory and kingdom. Our suffering or difficult situations are meant to grow us into people that can be blessings to others in similar trials and who can glorify God under all things. And so I am learning to not run away from difficult or uncomfortable situations, but to own up to them, to persevere and endure, because my focus is not on the difficulties or the uncomfortable situations, but on God and his purpose and guidance in the midst of everything.