five years from now

April 22, 2011

The present is filled with a lot more than I can handle. A lot of things that I'd like to demand a full telling of. Justice to be done. My Father to come to my rescue and put to shame those who hurt me and other people. But things like these don't take place immediately. They occur in God's time, not mine.

²³ The LORD makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
²⁴ though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37

Though I may stumble in pain, discomfort, anxiousness, or frustration, God will not let me fall. There are events that happened 3-4 years ago, that I can read about in my journal, and the hurt would still be there. The misunderstandings, the misidentification, the breach of trust, and the shock of it all. But now, four years later, I see exactly why God allows His children to hurt and experience pain. Why it was better the way things turned out. Why it was ultimately a blessing for me. How God can ultimately turn victims and the misunderstood into victors for His glory. God's ways are completely beyond comprehension. All I can trust in is that He knows what He's doing, and those that He loves He will provide for, he has a plan for, he has a future for.

There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. (proverbs 23:18)

So I trust and know, five years from now, the struggles of today, the 'whys', and the seemingly unnecessary struggles, frustrations, and pain will all make sense. They will all be blessings for me. Because I am treasured. I am not forgotten. I am not forsaken. I am precious. And I am His beloved. And He will not let me have second best. And He's saving me up for His plan, His future, His hope for my life. And it's going to be amazing, God-glorifying, and beyond anything I could ever have imagine. Five years from now, I will look back and see that all I once held dear and had had painfully removed from my life were but mudpies compared to the great things and people God will be filling my life with.

Thank you Jesus that I am beloved to the point that you'd refuse me my lowly desires to allow room for you to give me the greater things. :)