hindrances as the raw material of spiritual life
September 26, 2012
But I'm learning to see these in light of really striving to grow in a passion & desire for God that is aided by circumstances & difficulties, and not set back by them. I'm learning to look at the things that I can give thanks to God for, though it may be very easy & tempting to just fall back on all the negative. I'm realizing what it really means to fully rely on God because on my own, I really do not have the ability to do anything. I'm taking each week one day at a time - otherwise I'd just be overwhelmed by all the impending work coming up. I do pray that these 'hindrances' become what stoke the little fire into a steady big fire for God, that the fire only increased in intensity when the times are difficult & stressful. Life never gets easier I suppose, and I'm learning to face that fact instead of always wishing for bygones past.
Now that W. is with us I don't get enough solitude: or so I say to myself in excuse, knowing all the time that what God demands is our solution of the problem set, not of some other problem which we think he ought to have set: and that what we call hindrances are really the raw material of spiritual life. As if the fire should call the coal a hindrance! (One can imagine a little young fire, which had been getting on nicely with the sticks and paper, regarding it as a mere cruelty when the big lumps were put on: never dreaming what a huge steady glow, how far surpassing its present crackling infancy, the Tender of the Fire designed when he stoked it.)Oh man, this semester has been quite difficult - a lot of what I keep seeing as 'hindrances'. But reading this the other day really got me thinking about the absolute necessity of having a Christlike attitude and mentality towards my 'hindrances.' School has been difficult; I don't recall ever feeling this stressed & busy with schoolwork. Not only is it a lot of work, it's really hard - the 'stare at it for 10 hours and still don't get anything' kind of hard. I find myself doubting myself a lot & questioning why I'm here &how I even got here. There's been a lot on my mind & some personal stuff that all just accumulates and adds up to a lot of obstacles & hindrances in my mind.
(Yours Jack, CS Lewis - letter to his friend)
But I'm learning to see these in light of really striving to grow in a passion & desire for God that is aided by circumstances & difficulties, and not set back by them. I'm learning to look at the things that I can give thanks to God for, though it may be very easy & tempting to just fall back on all the negative. I'm realizing what it really means to fully rely on God because on my own, I really do not have the ability to do anything. I'm taking each week one day at a time - otherwise I'd just be overwhelmed by all the impending work coming up. I do pray that these 'hindrances' become what stoke the little fire into a steady big fire for God, that the fire only increased in intensity when the times are difficult & stressful. Life never gets easier I suppose, and I'm learning to face that fact instead of always wishing for bygones past.
Do not say,"Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions. (Ecclesiastes 7:10)I keep reminding myself of this verse haha. And I keep trying to fix my sights on God & to focus on Him and the hope that is found in Him alone. It's difficult but I trust that one day, looking back, it'll make everything that much sweeter - knowing that God led me through it all & those 'hindrances' brought about experiences that deepened my relationship with Him.
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