friends & the company we keep

August 10, 2011

11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you." (1 Corinthians 5:11-13)

Here Paul is writing to the Corinthian church about some serious issues. He writes specifically about not associating with anyone who calls himself a brother (notice Paul doesn't himself say they are a brother - we don't judge if someone is Christian or not, we leave it to God) but who is -

sexually immoral - when a man sins sexually, he is sinning against himself ( 1 Cor. 6:18), and his body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), which logically would show a sexually immoral person is defiling the temple of the Holy Spirit

greedy - I would think gluttony is under this. I just read a article on how gluttony shows a lack of self control which leads to a lack of being under the Holy Spirit's leading and control. What's more, greed shows where the heart truly lies, whether it be in money, food, love, status, reputation, etc., greed reveals that our hearts are not set on God and the things above (Phil. 4:8), but on the things of this world.

idolater - specifically to the Corinthian church, it meant partaking in idol feasts and worshiping idols. Through principle we can see that idolatry is simply not having our hearts fully set upon God.

slanderer - 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt^a water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. (James 3:9-12 )

Let's not break people down with our words, but build them up. Let no coarse, perverse, or destructive things come out of our mouth.

drunkard - a drunk. Why does the Bible so often condemn drunkenness? I believe it is simply because as a drunk, you are no longer in control nor are you under the influence of the Holy Spirit and God, but under the influence of drink. This then brings into question, what about being buzzed? Today, we've added another 'level' to alcoholic state - buzzed. When a person is buzzed, are they under the influence of the Holy Spirit?

swindler - if a person claims to be a brother in Christ, why would he take advantage of his brothers and sisters in Christ? Jesus calls us to love others, not take advantage of others.

vs. 12-13 show that within the church there needs to be good Biblical discipline. The verses seem kind of harsh to me. But I think today we only find it harsh because we've become too lax in our standards, too tolerant of sin in our lives, forgetting that God hates sin. Sin and God cannot mesh. In the list above, we see a common point of all - not being under the guidance and control of the Holy Spirit and not wholly setting Jesus as not just Savior, but Lord. Is this not the common point of all sins?

Next, why does Paul say to not even associate ourselves with them? That's a bit harsh right. We can't even eat with them! Why?

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Cor. 15:33)

I fully believe in this verse because I've seen it carry out in my own life as well as in the lives of many people around me. When we're the ones with bad company, we often think "It doesn't affect me, they won't affect me, I'm standing strong and I've got pretty good character." But we've really got to stop lying to ourselves. No one, no matter how strong, can be close friends or be perpetually in bad company and not be affected. It is much easier to be dragged down than be pulled up. It is much easier to be peer pressured into compromising just a little bit on our standards and beliefs than to stand our ground, because in the moment, our hearts will lie to us and say "oh it's not a big deal, don't be such a party pooper or so difficult, it's not like it's a sin anyway, but a mere preference." But with the start of compromising on preferences, it will lead gradually to the compromising on things that are outright sinful. I know plenty of good Christian youths who simply because of bad company ended up where they never imagined they would be.

All steps leading up to big sins are seemingly small steps. But when you look at the distance between the first step and the final step into sin, you realize what a big jump you actually made. It's the same thing with physical boundaries between a Christian couple. From holding hands to hugging to cuddling to light kissing to making out to petting to sex. The jump from holding hands to hugs isn't all that big. But the jump from holding hands to sex is huge.

I'm not advocating just not to have nonchristian friends or Christian friends who have different standards than you. But to have nonchristian friends/Christian friends who are close friends and who perpetually outright sin and to constantly keep company with them while they do such things, is a terribly unwise idea. Meeting up once in awhile to catch a bite, to outreach, to share and talk about life, there's no sin there. But when we place ourselves constantly in an environment where sin is happening, we will gradually fall and not even realize the process. We're not to just stand our ground in the face of sin, we're to flee. Joseph did not just put himself with Potiphar's wife all day and refuse her advances, it says he refused to even be with her, and when it came down to it, he ran out of that situation. We must refuse to be in the midst of any sin. We're not called to just have self control in sin, we're called to totally overcome and have victory over it. The Israelites weren't called to just simply subject the Canaanites and make them slaves, they were commanded to completely eradicate them from the land. They didn't obey, and we see why God was so extreme in His command because we read all throughout Judges and the OT how easily the Israelites fell into idolatry with the Canaanites present around them, the Canaanites they failed to completely eradicate from the land.

Let's stop tolerating sin. I'm not saying to just break all friendships with people who sin, but don't put yourself constantly in those situations. Don't go to a bar with people you know are prone to drunkenness. Don't go to a party where you know the things that will be happening there will be completely sinful by Biblical standards. Don't go to lunch with a girl who keeps trying to seduce you. Don't sacrifice your soul and spiritual life for a few hang outs to keep friendships. The friendships we keep close to us reflect who we are and what we like. Alcoholics like hanging out with alcoholics. Gamblers like hanging out with gamblers. May we carefully reflect who we keep as close friends, which friendships we value, and may we ask ourselves honestly what those friendships reflect about our priorities and where our hearts lie.

I think a good question for us all to ask concerning which friendships can become deeper and closer and which cannot is simply "do these friends bring me closer to God in actions, in speech, in behavior, in mind, and in thought? or does hanging out with them lead me to partake in activities that lead me away from God and towards worldly things?"

The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Prov. 12:26)