looking forward

January 23, 2011

Wow, first post of the year! The first week of classes has ended (just 13 weeks left)! Even though Monday was MLK holiday, the week still felt ridiculously long, and I've indeed been missing the chillness of being at home. Winter break was very enjoyable but it went by a bit too quickly. When people ask me what I did over winter break, all I can really think of is that I just spent most of my time at home with my parents, haha. I liked it! I miss being home already.

This semester seems like it may be a bit more crazy than I had intended/thought. I had thought I'd get to GSI a Stat2/20/21 class again, and so the workload wouldn't be all that different as I feel like I know the book used for those classes much much too well, haha. However, early Tuesday I was informed that I'd be the GSI for Stat131- an intro to stat for social science majors/scientists. While it is kind of like a Stat20 class, the difference is that they have to also learn a bit of R (a statistical programming language). That's the difficult part for me now, trying to figure out how to run sections, help them understand stats, and not get too lost on R. Also, since this class is an upperdiv and there are 70 students, I'm the only GSI for the class, meaning, there are no other people to divide the work with. Hence, my workload will indeed increase as I work out R demos for them, write up hw solutions, etc on my own.

I'm also planning on going to the RSF twice every week. Last week went by quite well, and I've really enjoyed it. I really hope that I'll be able to continue doing that. I'm looking forward to exercising, eating well, sleeping early and enough, and just taking care of myself health-wise. It's a discipline that I'm looking forward to maintaining this semester. :)

On Friday, I felt pretty overwhelmed with all the work that I felt like I'd have this semester, whether it was academic, gsi-ing, personal commitments, or serving at church. But after reading some of "Knowing God" and Daniel, I was able to feel a bit more at peace with everything when I realized that my sights should really be fixed on Christ and not on all the burdens that I feel have been suddenly laid upon me. That in everything, God is in control, and He will give me the strength, the time, the diligence, and the endurance to get through it all this semester, and that I may rely on Him to learn how to truly have a sense of peace and joy in the midst of everything. I hope that as the semester goes along, I will learn to not just view everything as mere tasks to be finished and done with, but to take joy in all the things that God has allowed to come my way.

I'm learning to be positive in my thoughts and my words. It's a challenge, but I'd like to have some improvement by spring break (I promised my mom to, haha). I'm learning to not just tell myself that I can't handle everything, and that this semester is going to kill me, but to believe that God will help me to handle it, and that if it really comes down to telling people I cannot do certain things, that He'll help me through that as well. When talking to my mom last night, she reminded me how the beginning of my semesters always seemed to be a bit hectic and burdensome, but that in the end, everything went along just fine, and I did not die of exhaustion or overcommitment. It's a good reminder for me to remember how far God has brought me, how He knows my capabilities much more than I do, and that He will guide me through everything.

I really like reading Daniel as it is always so encouraging to see how bold and courageous Daniel and his friends are in the midst of daunting circumstances. From getting thrown into the lions den to a burning furnace, they remained calm, trusted in God wholeheartedly, and were clear about their steadfastness to God that was not dependent upon whether God would save them out of the life-threatening situations or not. My situations aren't life-threatening, thankfully, but I am learning to remain calm and to trust in God wholeheartedly. To fix my eyes on Him alone, and not on the situations, and to know that no matter what happens, good or bad in human standards, He is God over everything.